Saturday, May 24, 2025

 

Resonance: Reflections on Music, Memory, and the Ghazal

 

Jiya Jale: The Stories of Songs : Gulzar (In conversation with Nasreen  Munni Kabir): Amazon.in: किताबें 

There are songs that don't merely play; they reverberate through your being, stirring something elemental inside. For years now, I’ve felt a persistent vibration within—an urge to write about certain songs, to document their impact on me, not just as a listener but as someone transformed in their presence. Music, for me, is not entertainment; it’s an invocation. A doorway to depth. A reminder that I am alive, and meaningfully so.

Recently, I returned to a song that’s haunted me in the best way: Kal Chaudhavin Ki Raat Thi, rendered with understated magic by Jagjit Singh. This ghazal evokes not just aesthetic pleasure but a bittersweet nostalgia—for the era it echoes, for the elegance of Delhi’s retro high society, and for a time when live concerts felt like gatherings of souls, not just audiences.

Kal chaudhavin ki raat thi…”
When he sings this, it doesn’t feel like a performance. It feels like a friend—an old, poetic friend—sitting with me under a silver moon, narrating a scene with affection and wonder. It’s intimate. Almost confessional.

The best ghazals do this. They are more than songs; they are finely crafted speeches, delivered with the weight of personal memory and social grace. Like a piece by Pu La Deshpande or Gulzar, they create not just resonance but reverence. They offer emotional texture, like soft silk across the skin of the heart.

I’ve seen this effect firsthand. After my paternal grandmother passed away, I couldn't stop crying whenever I heard Chitthi Na Koi Sandes. I had spoken to her just hours before her sudden passing. That song became a vessel of grief—too powerful to bear. Eventually, I stopped listening to it. That is the potency of lyrics paired with perfect delivery: they can become too true.

Which leads to a hypothesis worth exploring: could certain types of ghazals enhance emotional intelligence or even social bonding in communal settings? Might some genres of music increase empathy, while others deepen introspection? These are not idle questions. They merit inquiry.

My own early encounters with live music came from an unusual yet beautiful source. My grandmother’s home was adjacent to a Lingayat math in our village—a center of cultural life. It was here I was exposed to mesmerizing mehfils, especially those led by my grandmother’s elder brother, Ramanna—affectionately known to all of us as Ram Mama. If alive today, he would be a hundred years old.

Ram Mama’s performances, held in open courtyards beside a Shiv Ling, were electrifying. Old men—his lifelong friends—would set up simple platforms and sit in quiet reverence as he delivered alaps, taans, and swaras. I didn’t understand much technically, but emotionally I was enraptured. The audience, too, was transformed—silent, wide-eyed, with an almost sacred peace on their faces. In those moments, music was not a performance—it was a collective awakening. And these memories remain etched in the social DNA of villages like Billur and Adhalli, where Ram Mama had fans in every household.

Those of us who grew up in temple towns or in the slow magic of the Doordarshan era will relate. The crackle of a tape recorder. The anticipation of a favorite song. The family falling silent as the music took over the room. Today, music is often a private, solitary experience—streamed in earbuds, consumed quickly, forgotten faster. But once upon a time, music was an event. A celebration. A mirror held to our collective soul.

This contrast between private and public listening is not trivial—it has changed how we experience music. The old way fostered social memory. The new way fosters emotional consumption. Perhaps what we need is not to choose, but to consciously blend both. Let the headphones deliver intimacy, but let concerts create communion.

Among other songs that have moved me recently are Yesudas’s Bangaradinda Bannana Tanda, the Marathi masterpiece Mala Sanga Sukh Mhanje Nakki Kay Asta, and the Tamil gem Aasa Kooda. Each of these songs, from different linguistic worlds, holds its own emotional charge—another essay for another day.

What binds these songs together is the era in which they were composed. The setting. The emotional climate of their time. Every truly great song is a time capsule. It reflects the heartbeat of the society it emerged from. This is why remixes so often fall flat—they miss the soil in which the original song was rooted.

I once read a book on Gulzar’s songs called "Jiya Jale", and what struck me was how each track was anchored in a story—rich with context, history, mood, and texture. We do ourselves a disservice when we strip songs from their original atmospheres. Listening to them in their purest form isn’t just an act of nostalgia—it’s a necessary cultural archaeology.

If we wish to feel the full power of a song, we must pay attention to its vital signs:

  • The emotional setting: Is it a friend’s confession? A lover’s whisper?

  • The nostalgia it triggers: Does it carry echoes of a bygone time or lost innocence?

  • The rhetorical power: Does it speak with the gravity of a meaningful speech?

  • The genre’s role: Ghazals for intimate gatherings, folk for community bonding.

  • The era it reflects: What does it tell us about the social, emotional, or political climate of its birth?

Music, in its finest form, is more than an art. It is a psychological, social, and spiritual phenomenon. A good song does not just entertain—it shapes our perception, our memory, even our identity.

We need more music philosophers among us. People who can decode songs like one would decode dreams. People who can help us engage with music not as consumers, but as seekers.

If we can listen mindfully, music may yet become one of the deepest tools we have to reflect on the human condition—and to elevate it.

Monday, May 19, 2025

The Automation Paradox: Rediscovering the Craftsman Mindset in an Age of Infinite Efficiency

Today was surprisingly well spent. Not because I did more—but because I saw more clearly. What triggered this was a simple, almost innocent thought:

What will life be like when everything that can be automated is finally automated?”

This question emerged after months of deep work in Gen AI. I had been obsessed with automation—streamlining everything I could. From documents to decisions, if it could be handed over to code, I made it happen. And yet, something unexpected crept in.

The more I automated, the more automation itself became a kind of weight. I found myself automating not because I needed to—but because I could. Paradoxically, the pursuit of efficiency began feeling… inefficient.

That’s when it hit me:
Automation is not an end. It is not even the means. It is only a tool—and a dangerous one if left unchecked.

There’s a strange law at play here:

The more you automate, the more automatable tasks appear, and the more you lose sight of why you started automating in the first place.

This is what I now call The Automation Paradoxthe point where automation stops serving you and starts dictating your behavior. And unless you pause, reflect, and reorient, you can easily end up in a loop of endless optimization, without any fulfillment.

Beyond Automation: The Case for Intentional Value Creation

So I asked myself a confronting question:
If everything ran perfectly on its own, what would I do with my time, my energy, my life?

And the answer was humbling in its simplicity:

I would add value—quietly, intentionally, like a craftsman.
Not because I had to, but because I wanted to.
Not to automate away the work, but to breathe life into it.

This shift was seismic. It forced me to confront a reality I had ignored:
We are drowning in abundanceof tools, books, content, choices. Scarcity is no longer our problem. Meaning is.

A decade ago, my days were quieter. I would read one book at a time, write freely, and live without the anxiety of missing out. Today, life bombards us with 100 versions of everything—books, podcasts, AI tools, frameworks. Even reading—a once-sacred act—feels polluted by recommendations.”

What was once nourishment has become noise.

And yet, the solution isn’t to renounce tools or learning. It is to reclaim intention. To remember that:

Not every book needs to be read.
Not every tool needs to be used.
Not every possibility needs to be pursued.

A New Identity: From Automator to Craftsman

In this new paradigm, I no longer see myself as an Automator chasing the latest capability.

I now identify as a Value-Centric Creatorsomeone who uses automation as an assistant, not a compass.
My true north is not speed, but substance. Not convenience, but craft.

This change may seem subtle, but it is radical.

The craftsman does not fear tools.
He simply refuses to let tools define his worth.

This is not just a personal insight. It’s a corrective movementfor overwhelmed professionals, over-automated teams, and distracted creators. A return to what we instinctively crave: work that matters, done with care, in full presence.

 

The Science Behind the Shift

There’s a testable hypothesis here:

Past a certain point, automation delivers diminishing—and eventually negative—returns to creative output and mental well-being.

This can be modeled, measured, and verified. We can plot value-added versus level-of-automation and observe the curve. The goal is to identify the optimal “inflection point” where tools aid without eroding our attention, motivation, or satisfaction.

We also see cognitive errors at play:

  • Sunk cost fallacy: "I've automated so much, I must continue."

  • Overchoice/decision fatigue: Infinite tools, endless updates, declining clarity.

  • The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): "If I don't try this new tool, I might fall behind."

These errors quietly sabotage our ability to live and work well.

 

Historical Context: Before Overchoice Was Normal

In the pre-digital age, craftsmen, writers, and thinkers worked with constraints. They didn’t have 500 tabs open, 100 unread PDFs, or 3 AI co-pilots whispering suggestions. They just woke up and built—one brick at a time, in focused flow.

What they had—more than knowledge or speed—was clarity.
And that’s what we must reclaim now.

We must become digital craftsmen—rooted in timeless principles but fluent in modern tools.

 

A Personal Principle for the Future

Going forward, I’ve decided this:
Let AI be my assistant. Let my intention be my boss.

Everything I interact with—books, tools, platforms—must serve my values, not distract from them.

I will no longer ask:

What can I automate next?”
I will ask:
What do I want to create, and what tools will let me do that more intentionally?”

Because value without noise, and creation without clutter, is still possible.
We just need to remember what we were trying to do before the noise took over.

 

Closing Insight

The greatest values that have moved the world in the past were forged in scarcity and structure.
We can create without drowning in abundance and ambiguity.
Let us live a life with purpose, intention and modeled around clarity! Let Automation be a tool for us and not something we run behind for the sake of it!

This new way of living begins with you. It begins with me.
And perhaps it begins with the choice to stop automating for a moment—and start living intentionally again.

Saturday, May 17, 2025

 

The Mirror of Childhood: Why Parenting Begins With the Parent

The last few days have tested me more than any technical crisis or personal trial. They shook me as a parent and, more deeply, as a human being. What started as a moment of disbelief over our son's behavior soon turned into a painful—but powerful—awakening.

Our son, just 10 years old, took ₹1500–2000 from our wallets and used it—with a friend—to buy chips, soda, and whatever else children believe to be momentarily thrilling. At first, we were angry. Disappointed. Confused. But as we peeled back the layers, we realized this wasn’t merely about a child's poor judgment.

It was about our parenting. Our environment. Our example.

This wasn’t a standalone act. It was a signal. A mirror held up to us—the parents.

The Mirror That Cracked

We scolded him. Interrogated. Lectured. But what truly unsettled us wasn’t his act—it was the creeping realization that we had modeled the very behaviors we now condemned.

We had given our children everything—comfort, abundance, entertainment—but not enough accountability, clarity, or consistency.

Our home was full of love, yes—but also contradictions. We slowly began to understand that our children don’t learn what we say. They learn what we show.

Parenting, we’re beginning to grasp, is not about provision. It is about presence. Not just love—but lived values. Not just discipline—but visible integrity.

That led us to the difficult question: What exactly have we been modeling?

 

The Subtle Rot of Everyday Habits

As we began a quiet audit of our own behaviors, some patterns stood out painfully:

  • Grandparents who watch hours of television expect children to deliver A+ grades.

  • Parents who preach cleanliness live in disorder.

  • Adults who complain about distraction are constantly on their phones.

  • A child who once stole a phone to play games was gently warned—no consequence followed.

These are not exceptions. They are signals. Signals that our values were being broadcast—but not lived.

Children do not imitate our rules. They imitate our reality.

When we indulge in entertainment during free time but expect our child to study…
When we tolerate small dishonesty but expect big integrity…
When we scroll mindlessly while telling them to “concentrate”…

We may be speaking values—but we're living contradictions.

In fact, our son had once hidden his grandfather’s phone to play games. We had dismissed it as “just play.” That, we now realize, was the pilot episode of a deeper problem. We didn't correct it. We didn’t reflect on it. And so, it escalated.

 

Our Family’s Turning Point

Modern parenting’s biggest cognitive error is assuming that discipline is something we do to children—when in truth, it’s something we must first do to ourselves.

Habits, like viruses, spread in families—through touch, through routine, through repetition.

Children are exquisitely sensitive to these micro-habits.

Some of the insights we discovered:

  • A culture of minimal consequences for serious infractions.

  • Inconsistent modeling of respect, self-control, and integrity.

  • Tolerance of behaviors we would later condemn, simply because they were convenient in the moment.

We realized this: before we parent our child, we must parent ourselves.

 

A Testable Hypothesis for Every Home

From this experience, we propose a testable idea—something both scientific and soul-stirring:

Children’s behavioral trajectories are more influenced by the everyday behaviors of their primary caregivers—especially in their leisure time—than by any formal instruction.”

Not the lectures. Not the grades. Not even our aspirations.

But the moments when we’re unguarded, casual, and "ourselves."

This isn’t just a theory. It’s observable. It’s repeatable. And it’s frighteningly powerful.

 

The Science and History Behind It

This idea is not new. Psychologist Albert Bandura’s Social Learning Theory shows that children learn behaviors by observing those around them—especially authority figures.

The greatest determinant of a child’s values isn’t school or society. It’s what their parents model, especially under stress or routine.

History echoes the same message:

  • Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

  • Confucius: “The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.”

  • John Locke: Children are shaped more by their environment than by their nature.

We cannot “instruct” our way to better children. We must embody the change.

 

Beyond the Personal: A Cultural Reckoning

This story isn’t just personal—it’s generational.

We were raised in scarcity and structure. We are now raising children in abundance and ambiguity.

And when they appear entitled, distracted, or disoriented—we act surprised.

But what have we truly given them to anchor themselves?

Today’s children are growing up with unlimited access, overstimulation, and often under-involved parents. They need something more than rules.

They need anchors. And those anchors must be us.

 

The Danger of Overcorrection and Absolutism

Let’s be clear: this is not about guilt-tripping parents. Nor is it about denying a child’s agency.

To say “it’s all the parent’s fault” is another cognitive error—absolutism.

Instead, we must understand the equation of influence.

We are not the sole factor in a child’s behavior—but we are the most consistent one.

So when something goes wrong, instead of asking What’s wrong with the child?”we must also ask, What in our system is silently reinforcing this?”

 

The Personal as Collective: A Mobilization Plan

This journey is no longer private. It must become a movement.

If you're in the midst of a parenting challenge, start here:

Phase 1: Immediate Interventions

  1. Behavioral Audit: Track your own habits for 7 days. Then compare them with what you expect from your child.

  2. Hypocrisy Cleanup: Find 3 contradictions between adult behavior and household rules. Start correcting them visibly.

  3. Mirror Meetings: Weekly 30-minute family sessions where everyone (including adults) shares one behavior they’re working to improve.

Once this becomes a habit, you can progress to:

 

The Model-First Manifesto

A long-term framework to rewire the home:

  1. Model-First Mindset: Remember—what you do during downtime speaks louder than what you say at bedtime.

  2. Practice What You Preach: Read during your breaks. Organize your workspace. Express gratitude aloud.

  3. Create a Consistency Culture: Rules apply to everyone. Adults too.

  4. Celebrate Internal Wins: Praise character more than performance. “You returned that toy without being told”—that matters more than grades.

  5. Replace Control with Curiosity: Ask, “What did you learn about yourself today?” Not “Did you behave?”

  6. Institute Family Accountability Rituals: Weekly reflections where every family member shares progress—not perfection.

     

A New Identity: The Model-First Parent

This isn’t just a technique. It’s a transformation.

The Model-First Parent is someone who:

  • Leads through behavior, not just rules.

  • Understands that values are transferred, not taught.

  • Believes that raising children is not about control—but about character.

We don’t need more lectures. We need leaders in our homes.

 

Final Reflections: Anchoring the Future

I’ve witnessed India’s transformation — from analog to digital, from scarcity to abundance, from simplicity to overstimulation. In that journey, I now see clearly: it wasn’t the technology, the schools, or even the environment that shaped me.

It was the structure. The values. The modeling.

My values were forged in scarcity and structure. Today’s children are drowning in abundance and ambiguity.
The answer isn’t to wish them into the past. It is to bridge the past with the present — through modeled character, not moral lectures.

We often ask, What kind of future are we building for our children?”
But the real question is: What kind of children are we building for the future?”

If we want to prepare them for the chaos and choices ahead, we must first steady our own ship.

Let us raise children who do not need to heal from their upbringing.
Let us raise children who inherit not just our wealth, but our wisdom.
Let us raise children who feel safe, seen, and shaped by our integrity.

Let this not remain just a blog.
Let it become a curriculum. A conversation. A consciousness.
Let us build…

The Conscious Family.
A new tribe.
One that earns the right to guide—by living better, not shouting louder.

#ModelFirstParenting